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Post by Simmo33 on Sept 11, 2008 19:45:06 GMT
Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!
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Post by DarkNova50 on Sept 20, 2008 19:00:30 GMT
Well, I can't say I'm overly surprised by Tony being infected. Hell, I'm actually surprised Katie wasn't. Nevertheless, an interesting development, and it should certainly force our duo to find out just what's been happening, yes?
But again, my gripes aren't with what's being said, as much as how it's being said. For example, in the case of Tony's wound being examined, it was told in a more diagetic fashion, as opposed to mimetic. (Learned those in Literary Theory, and been just itching to use them) It was told in a manner more like "this happened, then this happened". I would have liked to see some kind of response from Tony. Was he in pain? How was he reacting? Maybe gritting his teeth in pain as he was being examined? These things add depth to the characters, and make the reader feel like they're being shown what's going on, as opposed to being told.
Anyways, keep it up.
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Post by FC4 on Sept 20, 2008 20:29:20 GMT
I had tried to do that sometimes, but apparently didn't carry it out as good as I should have. I'll keep it in mind for the next chapter, however.
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Post by Simmo33 on Oct 4, 2008 10:36:34 GMT
Oh man, I don't think I can wait much longer (no pressure lol).
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